The apprehension, the curiosity, the adrenaline, the anticipation.
The building and building excitement that starts deep inside of you and slowly takes over your entire body until you feel it oozing out of your every pore, shaking your body from fingers to toes, clouding your judgement and blurring your thoughts.
Your heart beats steadily but stronger than normal, then frantic and rampant then back to a steady beat. One two three four, one two three four, one two three four
As you dance inside your head.
When the moment is over the rush continues for quite some time but as it subsides you feel a calm come over your entire body. It drips from your ears down your neck, through your shoulders and into your chest. You feel the tension melting away as your heart beats soothing sensations throughout your extremities.
You sink into heaven and float away from yourself. The whole world left behind. Astral projection I believe they call it.
Existing outside of your body.
You soar through the atmosphere, untouchable, invincible, immortal.
Such calming power.
You will spend years chasing that feeling
but it will never be as good
and eventually your demons will catch you and you will pay your toll
You will one day suffer your sins
For all those years you spent trying to recreate that first kill.
The first murder is always the greatest.
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